rants

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speak

say your feelings out loud.

Call me Celeste
Fabulous Twenty-One
Awesome Life

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Footprints

I was hoping and constantly telling myself everyday will be fine and soon I'll start to like the job. But hell NO! It gets worse everyday.

Today, I overslept. Though I still wasn't late, I was in a terrible mood. I only put sunblock today. This was how bad my mood is. I was feeling super moody and everyone in the bus who looked at me, will in return get a glare from me. Fuck them, nothing better to do is it?

On such days, I wouldn't want to bump into anyone because I am very reluctant to force a smile out. And yes, I was unlucky enough that I saw a colleague while walking to office. obviously, we have to walk together. Like I said, bad mood = hack care. I force a smile and said "morning!" and I didn't spoke to him all the way till even now.

I don't want to speak to anyone, moreover, I am very tired. With a shitloads of things to be done, yet I have totally no idea where and HOW to get started. Nobody is here to lend a helping hand or even to guide me. They just throw me out in the deepest ocean for me to die. Yes, this is the phrase.

This is what the boss told me," I am going to put you at the deepest part of the sea and you have to survive yourself. This is how you learn, and it is also the fastest way to learn." Fuck man, I am already so tired, and you do this to me.

Now you understand why I wanted to resign on Day 1 of work? Well nevermind.

So, on the super duper long journey bus ride to work this morning, many things ran through my mind. From resigning now(yes, immediately), or to persevere further. And probably I just test out a month, if I still dislike it, then I'll resign. At least, I get more pay right?

Well, I have also actually realise that this is not the kind of job I want in life. And the reason why I took IM is not because I want such job prospect. It's because it is slightly easier for me to pull through knowing that I hate exams very much.

I need to look deeply into what I want in life before I take another step.

Oh, btw... if you are asking me what is the plan I have in mind that I just posted as a shout on facebook. The plan is...

Work for 1 month --> Resign --> another 1 month of working (1mth notice) --> NO WORK --> Taiwan (with money!!! )

Not bad right? I know I know. This is why I want to persevere what. Just for the sake of PAYDAY!