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Thursday, July 24, 2008 @ 12:05 am

I've realised that blogging can be a way to release stress whereby you just release everything here.

But to release everything here isn't easy. You still need to think who reads, will it hurt the person whom you're just agitated at this moment and just want to say it out loud, but the person is a good friend of yours?

well well, blogger is a place to share happy moments, but not sad moments. type it out and you never know who'll get offended. Who knows, you'll just receive a lawyer letter one week later.

i dislike you, but it doesnt mean that it'll last for life. Maybe it's only for this moment when i'm unhappy. you have your reasons,i have mine. The fact is, i rather hear excuses than to see you ignoring or pretending you are blind and not see the hardwork that has been put in.

i really dislike school now. it's because of projects, tests, exams which leads to unwanted unhappiness. And to add on... what the hell is with this school?! SIT -> SEG? I am unhappy with this! But there is nothing that i can do. I've already spent 1.5yrs, and i dont want it to just go down the drain. I tell myself, who cares about it, it's just a stepping stone to university. But, that's not the point, i like being in SIT.

back to the subject. after being upset over some things, i've learnt that some friends are meant to ONLY have fun with. and now, i'll rather work with someone whom i dislike, but will help me reduce my workload.

no matter how much i dislike someone, i'll help. unless there is a very strong reason that stop me from helping.

i am not the only one experiencing such incident, even angtint is experiencing it in school, but she uses yahoo!blog, she can lock her post, blogger doesnt allow me to do so. she released all out, and it really makes me envy a little. since i chose blogger, i have no one to blame. maybe i'll get rid of blogger anytime soon if things just get worse and i really need to rant alot more than now.

and i'm seeing people or rather, friends changing. and it's not the way i want to see it change.

all in all, i'm going through similar incidents that i've been through last yr sem 1, but this time it's 3x more. I hate it!

and i hate it even more when people take it for granted. they just dont know how difficult it is to get it half done, dont say completely done, and keep pastering, or rather ORDERING people who are whole heartedly doing it, to complete it at the time they want. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? i don't owe you anything! if you are capable, do it yourself, if not, i'll appreciate if you just shut up. dont worry, I know you're not mute.

those who care and are concerned told me that "it's not completely done and you submit it? cannot like that. if it cannot work you submit will have problem."

my reply is "i'm going through this ALMOST alone, which you've actually seen it yourself. it's not easy. if i dont submit it earlier, maybe it'll come to such an extent where i'll just have a nice talk with my mum and quit school the next day." anyway, thanks because i know you care for me.

i am already sick and tired with such life. i am longing for the upcoming holidays.

i tell myself that i can go through this 3 yrs smoothly, but maybe i cant. What keeps me going on now is the past 1.5yrs of effort. Although i've not put in much effort, but i've spent alot of time, i dont think it's worth giving up. Maybe one day... but i hope that one day never arrives, cause if it arrives, it means i've given up hope. TOTALLY.

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