* CELESTE } daily rants.

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Celeste Ngiam's Profile

thick and thin...

It's only when the person went through thick and thin with you, then you realise, ah huh, this is the person, the person worth my time/effort spent to care for. In friendship or a relationship. We used to think, we're a clique we're a group, we hangout together. Laugh, joke, gossip, study, play together. Does this mean we are true friends? I don't think so.

It's only when a problem arise. Who avoids it, who faces it. Who bother to take the initiative to care. Till now, many disappointments. Maybe you feel disappointed with me, things that i've said and done. You find it unreasonable, thinking that i'm such a spoilt brat. Whatever you think, i no longer care, it no longer make me feel upset. I don't feel what I've done till this date is wrong. Tell me, where and what did I do wrong? convince me.

Do you actually know, we care, we bother about this friendship. That's why we bother to talk to you, tell you what's wrong and how we felt. Instead of taking what we say as an advice, you took to heart, as an offend. And then you treat us like your enemy. Our care and concern, became your hatred towards us, do you think it doesn't hurt? It does, just that we don't say out loud.

From today onwards, I am not going to care about your problems. You go your way, and I'll go mine. Offend me in anyway? I will never keep quiet and let you go ahead, you take my words(i know you do read my blog). I am not some kind of stupid fool out there letting you bully for nothing. I'm sick and tired of the stupid and childish things you people have done. I've had enough. From today onwards, I no longer regard you as my friend. You don't know how to appreciate, it's your problem. You need to grow up, kid! It's only time, that will make you understand and know the big mistakes you've done, that made all your friends leave you. "toufu" isn't as nice you know. Friends and Family are the ones who will always be by your side. Get this right, acquaintance.

Dearest Friends, do not get affected by this anymore. We should wash our hands until they once again drag us down into it, then we will screw them up. After rain, there's always sunshine isn't it? (:

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I don't have pictures to post. Not really "don't have", is just that I suddenly feel like blogging out my thoughts now. I don't have the mood to do any photo editing or transfer any photos from camera.

&& Cheryl darling it's great to finally meet you today! i know you're still rushing your powerpoint slides now. screw those people, they will get their retribution in the later days of their life. They will learn their lessons someday. Take it that you're doing charity now, and you'll get good payback in the near future. Love you always and good luck for tomorrow's presentation! ;)

should I or not? :/

Yes or No?

It's been almost a year since I last changed phone. My parents know me better than anything for the fact that I will change a new phone every single year. Hey hey, it's a habit already because my dad does this too! So, Dad actually asked if I want to get the latest 3GS white iphone. If I want, he'll get it for me when mum's singtel plan is up. But that will be about 3 more months. Or should I get the LG Arena using my own line to sign?

If I insist in changing a new phone now, my only better choice is LG Arena. If I'm willing to wait abit, I can actually wait for the upcoming LG Crystal which will be out in the market soon. And I can read up more reviews on it before making decisions. But that's if I'm willing to wait la.

Well, my choices of new phones will be:

LG Arena (S$300plus)
3GS 16GB white iphone (S$300plus)
LG Crystal (S$unknown)

Please give me some advice. Thanks people! :D

Friday! Yipee!~~ :D

it's friday again! :D

I thought yesterday was Wednesday, thus, I kept telling myself there's 2 more days before weekends. I don't know what's wrong with me recently. I think I left my mind at home. LOL. So, I was surprised when my colleague told me that yesterday was Thursday. Instantly, I felt happiness befall. Oh my, this week really flies, just a blink of eye and it's Friday again! Damn happy. Although I got grounded and counldn't go out, I'm still looking forward to Friday man! It's good that i get grounded, at least for this week, I didn't overspend. If I continue to be like this, my spending will be reduced! hehe~ I like. (:

Yesterday, had lunch with my colleagues and bosses in a Koean Restaurant at Boat Quay. Seriously, I think the KimChi suck. The food, not to my likings, and the price, super not worth it! Luckily, it was treated by boss, if not, I'll feel that I got cheated $20plus for awful food. =.="

My boss will be going to Korea next week, thus, nobody will care what I do at work. He is so nice you know. He even asked if I want anything from Korea so he can get it for me. And he asked, "Celeste, do you want the f4 drama dvd with english subtitle?" I was kind of shocked when he asked la, original from Korea lei. hahaha! I ask him to dabao kimchi for me, from Korea. I heard the authentic ones from Korea are delicious! *drooling*

I hope today will past smoothly because I forgot to put on my happy buddha and my pinky ring. Everytime I forget, it tends to have some unlucky things happening. I seriously don't know what's wrong with me. Something must be wrong somewhere. I've been very blur lately, typos everytime I chat with friends on msn/google talk/skype. Even by having two batteries for my handphone, they can still run out of batt, & I'll only realise when my phone is dead, resulting to people not being able to contact me. This happened twice! this week. It's like almost impossible in the past for this situation to happen. I've not been encoutering battery flats for like ever since I change to this phone. Moreover, I've got two batteries lei. Tell me, what's wrong?! :/

Anyway, you people should tag on my tagboard when you visit my blog. It's really irritating to see my tagboard looking "deserted". My blog traffic keeps increasing yet, the tagboard is so coldly treated. I'm exceptionally irritated when those kpo people comes and read, not dare to tag to prevent me from knowing that they came to my blog, then they anyhow misunderstand about what I type, and get angry with me for no reasons, then go round spreading rumours about me and put words in my mouth(jackson, see ah, is put words in my mouth. haha!). Ya la, I know, no mouth to ask, thats why see I got mouth thus decided to stuff some words in my mouth right? Piece of shit. :@ Sometimes, I really doubt their understanding of English(probably, failed English Comprehension badly). Stupid people with tiny brains.

Please note that I am not saying you. If you self-admit, you are really stupid indeed.

Like I said, I've actually ftp the website up and left with the registration form. Damn sian, need to use PHP. I also never learn before lor. Don't know what the hell is it! I think I'll use some ready made one from those forms website. Aiya, lazy what... You don't know meh, I'm like one of the very lazy person around. hahaha! Well, so I actually stop doing the form for awhile because I am really very sian doing it already. Thus decided to make a photo(the above image) for this entry. It is really original one hor! Word by word, I slowly do one. You seldom see me so hardworking creating image. haha, and seriously, TGIF! ^^

Alright, off to rot & stare at my laptop screen. I hope I'll send my laptop to repair today since it has been mute for really long already! Till then..~

PS: Don't forget to tag before leaving. ;)

*//Edited

My laptop has voice once again! I think fujitsu service center @ funan 's service has improved tremendously. I remember, the laptop problem is never solved everytime my friends bring their laptop there for repair. However, this time, I tried for myself since Funan is very near workplace. If not, I would rather send my laptop to Henderson. :D So, my laptop was ready for collection within 2 hours! And now, I'm happily blasting songs into my ears(using ear pieces ma).

This week(inclu. the coming weekends), I won't be going out with my friends. I want to prove to my mum that I can don't go out and meet my friends for 1 week. Ya la, 1 week only. :/ I'll still try to cut down going out next week. I try, okay? :)

I've some things I need to get them done. Adieus all!~

happy for how long?

Self-control! *trying very hard*

"Self control is the ability to control one's emotions and desires, is the capacity of efficient management to the future. In psychology it is sometimes called self-regulation, and exerting self-control through the executive functions in decision making is thought to deplete a resource in the ego."

Source from wikipedia.

I actually wonder did i actually live my life to the fullest everyday? The answer is No. Well, what does it actually mean when you say, I live my life to the fullest? Everyone has their own definition to this, and for my case, I think being happy everyday is already to the fullest. It's not that you can live happily everyday you know. Especially when it's on those unlucky days, where you actually fall flat on grounds and embarrass yourself. Having bad hair day, no matter how you try to make yourself look good, you still fail badly. So, if you are able to be happy now, just appreciate it, because you'll never know what will happen the next moment. Hmmm, maybe it's the end of world after that? Then you'll realise, Hey! I've never had a chance to visit the other part of the world yet, haven't seen the wonders in life yet, how can I actually give up on myself? So what if you look ugly, you won't be the ugliest, because there is definately someone uglier. So what if you're fat, you won't be the fattest. If not, you're already in the Guinness World Record already. So live everyday to make yourself happy.

Talking about self-control. If I actually control and limit myself, isn't making myself unhappy? So ya, I am contradicting myself now. Anyhow, life is filled with ups and down. It's only a matter in how you look at it isn't it? I'm telling myself that, controlling now (referring to my spendings), will increase the amount of money I have in future, for "rainy" days and stuffs. And I don't have to feel poor. That feeling really sucks. Seriously, when you don't have money in your wallet, and you can't withdraw from atm, it's like, you feel super lost. My goodness. And I think my credit cards are the main culprits that make me overspend. My parents constantly applying new cards for me. Telling me the privileges for car petrol, shoppings, food, groceries, entertainment... practically for everything. Never did they think, that I'll keep using it to sign till I'm broke. Now, they start to warn me about my spendings, but isn't it abit too late? I'm trying to cut down on my spendings, they can't expect me to stop spending overnight what!

Honestly, I've already reduce the amount I spend by alot. I used to shop online like nobody's business. My account has $1k, I can spend till left $20. Stop asking me how I actually manage to spend this much, because I also don't know why. So, I will and I must reduce my spending. I promise myself and I will definately do it. :D

I know my post is getting very boring. But, it's my blog, I should post what I feel right? In my previous posts, I've rant alot, due to the problems I've been undergoing. I thank all my friends for being my side, supporting me, believing in me, and even trust me. I love you!

Okay, and to people out there who are actually upset, or not happy for the day, try to smile at least a little, it'll help! I'm here, you can share your problems with me, you should know, I'm always here, just a phone call away. :)

Oh oh, I finally manage to FTP the company's website up! hohoho!~ Visit here to view the site. :D

P.S: I'm starting to pity you, but too bad, you made me dislike you. shooo!~

Mood Swings~

Up and down it goes!

I think i have serious mood swings lately. Hmmm, not pms. These days, people learns to act innocent. I don't deny the fact that I do act innocent too, but at least I don't do it to close/good friends unless it's for fun and playing purpose. I really dislike people who talk behind my back and spreading rumours about me and after that, people come telling me about it. Isn't it stupid or what? You should go find yourself some true friends, dude. We treated you like one of us, yet you decide to drift a distant from us because of some "innocent" party. Wth is this?! The world is changing. Or should I say, my life changed drastically ever since I'm back from Beijing. You know what? I really miss Beijing time so badly because when I'm there, I do not have such problems. I hangout with lovable friends and all I feel is happy every single morning I wake up. Totally do not have such f*ckup problems to face with.

I told myself yesterday, what's done is done. It can never be the same anymore. I don't care it's only one more year to face you or ten thousand more years to face you. You make me despise you, with all your disgusting actions and comments you made. Like I said, you can clarify matters with me, and not smile at me when you're unhappy. If you're saying that I does this also, well, but I don't spread rumours about you. That's so sad for you that people come telling me the comments you made, but no one tells you the comments I made except your oh so "innocent" party. And that person doesn't know any truths. All are assumptions. Why? Because no one, and I meant not a single person is willing to even talk to that "innocent" person. Think for yourself, what you did to us, said about us is right or wrong. Not happy with what I type, confront me then. Stop hiding in your turtle shell. Get the hell out of it, you coward! And you better stop your damnass rumours about me because it's already getting on my nerves. My patience has limits, my dear...

I was damn f*cking angry the past few days, but I decided to chill and cool down a little. If this thing carry on, I would not just silently let it past. I need to control my mood swings. It is getting very serious. I can be very excited and happy for a moment, and the next moment, I get damn agitated and feel like killing those b*tches and b*astards out there.

Someone requested me to blog. This person says that I should blog everyday. Well, I didn't blog yesterday I think I'll probably bombard vulgarities here, which I don't want to.

Although I'm pretty free everyday at work, I have nothing else to update about. Mum says, "You better stop going out so often, your credit card bill is here again." So, I can't go out too often already. Moreover, I've spent enough. Sian! The bill was $100 yesterday. I am broke, once again. ):

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Labels: flea-a-lot